I have almost fully embraced the uncertainty of enjoying the presence of an individual who remains a stranger in all but one sphere of interaction, and perhaps most harrowing: actually conveying this to the person both by word and deed…allowing him to survey with great clarity everything that arises within me when we are in the midst of sharing closeness. It is incredibly liberating to be honest in this way. And one can truly rest in this honesty and allow it to heal, and finding that it cultivates the strength to continue to allow oneself to be seen.
It is quite comical to reflect on my previous patterns of thought and emotion and subsequent behavior. How much mental anguish I had subjected myself to; how much suffering I had constructed under the auspices of analysis.
For now, I feel an underlying sense of equanimity when I
ponder our situation, which brings me great happiness. At last, the flow
without the ebb.
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