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“Money makes the world go round”
Deep within my idealist little soul I dismissed this quote as absurd.
But it is true…somewhat.

Although money does not literally make the earth rotate, nor does it create a sense of fulfillment (I.E. Money can’t buy happiness),
it is an enabler.
A catalyst for many (if not all) things, that Americans have defined as “important.”

Possessions: such as snazzy shelter, a car that affords you transportation (In Miami these are usually Bentleys or some other horrendously expensive abomination) and other little luxuries.

I realized today that, no matter the circumstances one has to spend money to make money. Everything is an investment.
Graduate students are shelling out an inordinate about of cash to nurture careers which they hope (and most likely will) pay off in the future.
Even if you have a scholarship, someone is still footing the bill.
Because there is always, and will always be a bill

But what is it about money that makes it such a force?
When you really consider it, money is just a concept.
A term that awards value to a piece of paper, or to numbers on a bank slip.
If someone who was born in the Amazon and lived there their entire life (and would consequently have no understanding of money) was given a check for a million dollars What do you think they would do with it?
Probably go all MAN VS. WILD and use it to catch a fish. (That was totally a shameless plug because I looooove that show)
So basically what I’m trying to say is money’s true strength lies in:
Collective perception

It’s an abstract creation that is so vital because we agree to give it importance.

Back in the day, money had concrete standing in the world. A printed note was used in place of a gold bar which was used in place of a cow. I suppose this did make the system wildly convenient; cows and gold bars can get heavy after awhile.

But money as we know it today is simply nonsense.
It’s no longer backed in gold…or cows. What do the terms global economic market and exchange rate mean to you? Jack shit. Yet those ridiculous words define how the most important of decisions are made. It is because of this hierarchy of concepts that money permeates every aspect of society.

But money is truly useless in every sense of the word.
Because the things that do matter: knowledge, family, peace (and even not so happy things like sickness, war and death) have always existed
Even in times of debilitating economic recession, even in places that subsist on $1 a day
and even among those who have no understanding of what a dollar bill or a princess-cut diamond is
And will continue to exist.

So the movie Blow was right after all: money isn’t real.

Blow has some pretty good quotes in it.
The “sometimes your flush, sometimes your bust….life goes on” one sounds really clever, but as an optimist I hope when I’m old I don’t confuse sentiments like that with wisdom.

I leave you with what I think this is the better Blow quote:
Life passes most people by while they're making grand plans for it.

I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic grammar, middle and high school. I was even named Catholic. (My first name and middle name are both places were the virgin mary appeared: Fatima, Portugal and Lourdes, France)

I was confirmed at 8, sang in the church choir and was a lector in school and at our spanish masses.

I can rehearse Psalm 23 verbatim in English and Spanish. I know almost every conventional prayer in both languages. I've been to Assisi, Padua, the Vatican and at least 8 more churches all over europe.

Still, the only one that moved me was the one in Fatima, and not just because it's my name (ha).

As a matter of fact, the one in Venice even filled me with rage. It contains a sinful amount of gold; most likely collected and constructed at the expense of its starving parishioners.



That church is one, of the many reasons for why I, despite living and breathing Catholicism for more than half of my life, no longer call myself Roman Catholic.



I think people attend mass for the consistency of it all. They need someone to implore and an outlet for relieving guilt (confession).

Still, real faith is awe-inspiring. I can still picture my fragile, adorable great-grandmother clutching her rosary.



What makes Catholicism any more valid than the beliefs of the Aztecs, Mayans, Native Americans, Ancient Egyptians, and Greeks?

Why are we entitled to scoff at their beliefs? Why does one deity make more sense than multiple ones?

Wasn’t it the ancient polytheists that gave us astronomy, architecture, physics, philosophy and the Olympics?

Humanity is blind. And until the apocalypse (if there is one), we will remain so.

This isn't necassarily a bad thing.



I think, that Catholicism was the most honest at its inception (which I suppose was when Peter became the first pope). Before it became this pseudo-empire that demanded conformity to its numerous and often arbitrary rules, which are entirely man-made. Councils, Popes and theologans throughout history were the ones that decided on stipulations, and interpretations of the bible (which was also written by men) which today is still fighting for spiritual supremacy.


I just feel that these people are trying too hard to overly simplify and explain something that is much to complex, convoluted and mysterious to ever be completely fathomed.

Even so, at least go with some kind of coherent explanation, because Genesis is a heaping pile of nonsense.

Also, where does Muhammad come into play?
What makes him any less of a prophet?
Catholics just so happened to accept that some dude from Nazareth spoke for God.
What if those same people had been in Mecca or Medina?


What if this triple O being (omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent) was trying to reach people in every corner of the world?
He chose Moses, Jesus, Muhammad and 3 children in Portugal and various other unsuspecting people to deliver his message.
But somewhere along the line the message was muted behind conflict.

What if we are all right?
What if we are all wrong?

Who you know fresher than HOV riddle me that

I go through phases of hating Jay-Z.
The last time the sound of his voice made me wretch was 4 years ago when he decided to desecrate Tupac’s potent ode to his automatic weapon and call it “03 Bonnie and Clyde”
As catchy as Beyonce singing: “If I was your girlfriend” is, the original, like all of 2pac’s work, had depth. Jay-Z managed to turn something dark and interesting into an asinine love song. It would be the film equivalent of making Glitter the sequel to Scarface.
Which in itself is unnecessary considering Al Pacino dies at the end….come to think of it, so does Tupac.
For this reason, I loathed the mere mention of Sean Carter.
My disgust only continued to escalate.
Even the Black Album couldn’t save him from his pathetic foray into the rock “mash-up” arena.
It’s one thing to have the option of turning off the radio whenever the Jay-Z/Linkin Park orgy came on, and quite another to go to a rock festival to see The Strokes (featuring bands like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and the Beastie Boys mind you) and having to sit through 5 minutes of a surprise Jay-Z performance. Trust me, it was agony.

Despite all of this, I lied; the Black Album did save him.
The man is on point through every one of those tracks. Moment of Clarity, Threats and Justify My Thug are so effortlessly raw, and are on the same lyrical level as the always eloquent and philosophical Common. After all Jay does say: “truthfully I wanna rhyme like Common Sense.” While not as insightful, Dirt Off Your Shoulder, 99 Problems and Encore are admittedly pretty bad ass in the same realm as Takeover (in my opinion the pinnacle of bad ass rap) The last song, My First Song, is a masterpiece in its simplicity.
So I was back to loving him.
All through his retirement he continued with the same caliber of work: Dear Summer and his cameo on Go Crazy were classic.
But somewhere along the line, the boy lost his damn mind. If you are going to retire on such a strong album, you cannot come back with anything short of brilliance. But unfortunately for us, he did.
I liken it to Michael Jordan’s latest return. Just as he couldn’t save The Wizards from sucking, Jay-Z couldn’t deliver on Kingdom Come. (Beach Chair, Dig A Hole and the title track combined aren’t even on the same level as some of his worst stuff: i.e. Girl’s Best Friend)

To make matters worse, he continues to attach his sub-par raps to every mediocre Beyonce song within the last 3 years as well as randomly appearing on Rehab and annoying the world with Umbrella…ella…ella.

Something must be done.
His new bff Nas, Foxy Brown, Linkin Park, Damon Dash, and Kanye need to stage an intervention.
He must be stopped before he completely disgraces all of his previous work.
If not, my current phase of hating Jay-Z could be permanent.
But maybe it’s for the best.

Ignorance is not bliss

I’ve made a little discovery. Or actually a not so little discovery considering its impact on me.
At the risk of sounding like a fruit: I love learning.
I enjoy the college experience: meeting people, not remembering last night, taking naps, being reckless.
But, contrary to what my peers would say, this is not the reason why I love college.
The stereotypical “college experience” (dorm rooms, sporting events, keg stands) wouldn’t explain my undying love for community college or why I feel nostalgic for it to this day.
At Brookdale I had the freedom to pursue whatever I wanted. Photography, Italian, Creative Writing, Business, Art, anything inside that little booklet with the smiling ethnic students on the cover.
No pressure.
When I came to Miami I was immediately confined to a major and/or a minor.
It is this aspect of conventional universities that I dislike.
Still, I had the luxury of taking random courses like intro. to zoology. (sososo fun)

More and more people ask me what I want to do after graduation. I used to feel guilty and nervous for not having a rehearsed answer for such a critical question.
Of course there are plenty of things I want to do after graduation; travel, join the Peace Corps, write a novel, direct a film, speak Arabic, learn how to play guitar, and many other objectives making up a long, eclectic list.
But this is not what the question implies.
The questioner wants to hear a specific answer. Which usually involves a potential job title and a company.
This saddens me.
Things that make us happy are secondary to things that are defined by society. Things that we have conditioned ourselves to think are absolutely necessary. Why can’t happiness be necessary? Why does a pension plan and a mortgage matter more than exploring the inner confines of your desires?

I’ll most likely ramble on about all of that later but for now, back to education and college.

At no other point in your life can you dismiss everything else and dedicate all your time to the acquisition of knowledge under the pretext that “Hey, I’m a student.”
Yes, I concede that there are some very boring subjects out there (Algebra and Physics blecch). But there are people out there that love the constancy and uniformity of math and science.

Never again will you be such a receptive human sponge.

I think that’s part of the reason for why I am dreading graduation and entering the so-called “real world.”
Because this process comes to a screeching halt.
Yes you do acquire skills that will help you within your chosen line of work.
But your learning is extremely narrow.
Unless you’re seeking a PhD in everything you’ll have to leave behind 90% of what you find wildly interesting.

Most careers don’t leave room for hobbies. And most hobbies do not involve opening textbooks or having experts on the subject at your disposal.
I know in my case, swinging a racket or flicking a paintbrush won’t fill that void.

Maybe that is why it seems to me that ancient civilizations were so successful at creating lasting physical constructions as well as concepts. Their lives were devoted to observations and forming explanations for the world around them.
This is why it upsets me to hear some doofus on the Discovery Channel talking about how they must have been helped by aliens.
Why insult human ability so?

These people, just as we are now, were entirely capable of crafting architectural wonders and other unthinkable crazy shit we don't even know about.
We don’t truly realize our individual potential or even human potential as a whole.
We can be a force damnit.
We've gotten a taste of it through various movements in our history.

So why is it that now we leave it up to others to make our lives better, to spoon-feed us novelty and innovation, to create art, to interpret the world, to make discoveries and to tell us what to believe?

This is what I feel religion is. An untested concept.
That is all it can ever really be.
I don’t care if you’re the Pope or a descendant of Muhammad, you will never be able to prove to me or anyone that there is an entity called god. Or that this god created us and the universe, or that he/she/it has anything to do with human interaction or can control the environment.
Yet people rigidly adhere to these centuries old “guesses.” They battle over superiority and try to impose what they blindly accept onto others. Why does marriage have to be between a man and a woman? Aside from the physical barriers associated with reproduction, why do people think they have the supreme authority to declare it wrong for a man to want to be happy with another man?

I hope all of this becomes clear when I die.
But what if it doesn’t?
What if death is just a brick wall?
Your existence is over; you evaporate, no explanations, no second-chances, no rewards or punishments, no eternity.
Will it really matter then, when you are facing impending termination, who was right or wrong?

Still, even the study of religion can be fascinating; its origins and why some have more resonance or are more prominent (or forceful) than others.
This all ties back into my fruitcake statement before: “I love learning”

Maybe the world would be a better place if everyone was a little more nerdy.

I don’t think life has some kind of specific meaning. I feel like it’s kind of like trying to describe a color without using its name.
Despite this I think a driving force behind life is: drama
In all its forms,
We thrive on cacophony.

War is a struggle for power and dominance, also known as: drama

Books, movies and music aren’t interesting to us unless they contain some level of conflict, in most cases: the more the better.

Human interaction is marked by discord.
There is nothing more distressing than boredom and apathy.
“Smooth sailing” is stagnation.
We avoid these things at all cost by fabricating mini-struggles.
Do we truly wish to solve our problems?
Do we really want harmony? Are we worthy of it?

Maybe life is over once we learn how to live free of this need for drama.