Who you know fresher than HOV riddle me that

I go through phases of hating Jay-Z.
The last time the sound of his voice made me wretch was 4 years ago when he decided to desecrate Tupac’s potent ode to his automatic weapon and call it “03 Bonnie and Clyde”
As catchy as Beyonce singing: “If I was your girlfriend” is, the original, like all of 2pac’s work, had depth. Jay-Z managed to turn something dark and interesting into an asinine love song. It would be the film equivalent of making Glitter the sequel to Scarface.
Which in itself is unnecessary considering Al Pacino dies at the end….come to think of it, so does Tupac.
For this reason, I loathed the mere mention of Sean Carter.
My disgust only continued to escalate.
Even the Black Album couldn’t save him from his pathetic foray into the rock “mash-up” arena.
It’s one thing to have the option of turning off the radio whenever the Jay-Z/Linkin Park orgy came on, and quite another to go to a rock festival to see The Strokes (featuring bands like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and the Beastie Boys mind you) and having to sit through 5 minutes of a surprise Jay-Z performance. Trust me, it was agony.

Despite all of this, I lied; the Black Album did save him.
The man is on point through every one of those tracks. Moment of Clarity, Threats and Justify My Thug are so effortlessly raw, and are on the same lyrical level as the always eloquent and philosophical Common. After all Jay does say: “truthfully I wanna rhyme like Common Sense.” While not as insightful, Dirt Off Your Shoulder, 99 Problems and Encore are admittedly pretty bad ass in the same realm as Takeover (in my opinion the pinnacle of bad ass rap) The last song, My First Song, is a masterpiece in its simplicity.
So I was back to loving him.
All through his retirement he continued with the same caliber of work: Dear Summer and his cameo on Go Crazy were classic.
But somewhere along the line, the boy lost his damn mind. If you are going to retire on such a strong album, you cannot come back with anything short of brilliance. But unfortunately for us, he did.
I liken it to Michael Jordan’s latest return. Just as he couldn’t save The Wizards from sucking, Jay-Z couldn’t deliver on Kingdom Come. (Beach Chair, Dig A Hole and the title track combined aren’t even on the same level as some of his worst stuff: i.e. Girl’s Best Friend)

To make matters worse, he continues to attach his sub-par raps to every mediocre Beyonce song within the last 3 years as well as randomly appearing on Rehab and annoying the world with Umbrella…ella…ella.

Something must be done.
His new bff Nas, Foxy Brown, Linkin Park, Damon Dash, and Kanye need to stage an intervention.
He must be stopped before he completely disgraces all of his previous work.
If not, my current phase of hating Jay-Z could be permanent.
But maybe it’s for the best.